Rowers – every prison should have one!

Rowing machines – Yay! I’ve been introduced to them recently – by a friend. At least, I thought she was a friend, but then who can you trust these days, eh? Think about it! Do you torture your friends? Do you suggest they do unthinkable things? Do you encourage them to try killing themselves – albeit at the gym? Well, do you?

You really need to rethink your idea of friendship.

Rowing! Jeez! It’s not sport. How can it possibly be sport? It’s more like a kind of voluntary corporal punishment. It should be banned. And you know what? It’s addictive, too (another reason it should be banned).

Oh, all right, then. Maybe that’s a little bit harsh, but it’s completely insane. It’s a completely miserable experience – but with the most amazing effects – both physical and psychological.

Argh! I can feel myself getting pulled in … pulled in …

Yep! Probably hooked.

And I’m rubbish! It takes me no time at all to be completely useless, brain turned to mush for the rest of the day. Every prison should have one, I say. Criminals should be forced to row for an hour every day (or two hours – depending on who they’ve murdered (some PMs could carry a sentence of just 20 minutes????)). See, then they simply wouldn’t have the energy to even think about committing another crime for the rest of the day.

Yep! I think it might work.