St Patrick’s Day – have you been jinxed?

It’s that time of year again – St Patrick’s Day, when many unsuspecting humans, undoubtedly under the spell of some evil, giggling leprechaun, find themselves drinking green drinks, searching cupboards for green clothing and talking about the luck of the Irish and the cuteness of leprechauns.
Wakey! Wakey! You’ve been jinxed!
Of course, if you want to drink green Guinness, nobody’s stopping you, but don’t be fooled by the warped cutesy-ness of the leprechaun depicted on your pint glass or on the pub wall. Let’s get this straight: the leprechauns of Irish legend have nothing cute about them at all. In fact, they are very short, very ugly and very evil. Grouchy, grumpy, bad-tempered employees of the Good People (Irish Faeries), they work as cobblers, guard Faery treasure and steal children – particularly children dressed in green! Yes, fooled again! Did you know that green is probably the least lucky colour of the Irish? It is the favourite colour of the faeries and woe betide any adult or child wearing too much of it. Leave home without it!
That’s not to say that you shouldn’t have a very jolly St Patrick’s Day, but, to be safe, avoid the green! And if you happen to hear a leprechaun laughing at you as you stroll along a quiet lane, don’t hang around to admire him. Chase him. Catch him. If you can force him to reveal his name you’ll have power over him – and you know what that means, don’t you? He can lead you to the end of the rainbow …
(and while you have him, would you mind asking what he’s done with all my socks???)