Pain, Frustration, Physio, Decisions
Oh, hellooooooooooooooooo negativity! Grrrrr it’s not often I sink under the pressure of negative thoughts but by the end of today’s planned 8 mile walk – first time with 35 lb Bergen – I’m feeling pretty beaten. I even found myself admitting that I don’t think I’m going to be able to do this!
That didn’t last for long, of course. I’m not one to be kept down for long – but I’ve had to reassess. Yes, I will do this damned challenge and I WILL cross the finish line – just not in the style that I’d originally hoped. I’d hoped I might be able to chase a time (that’s a ‘me’ time, not the paratroopers’ time lol). My goal now is simply to not be picked up on that bloomin’ truck!! The weight is a whole lot heavier than I originally thought – but more than that I just can’t face the thought of going into yet another challenge already injured. I need time off to re-group and re-build my knees and correct my IT-band problem and get them back to injury-free mode. I’m already planning my re-construction training (lol) for after the 21st October and that’s not a good thing to be doing. The challenge isn’t coming first. Uh-Oh.
So the weight I can deal with. Surprisingly, although the pack is seriously heavier than I’d anticipated, my back is recovering quickly afterwards without residual effect and that’s a big positive because that was my biggest worry. My IT-band problem, though, is frustrating, demoralising, painful and debilitating. And it’ll be the main cause of my slow finish on the 21st because I can’t run! How can I train to run any distance with the Bergen when I can’t run more than 100 metres without my ITB kicking up a racket? Grrrr. Double grrrr.
So the reassessment says that it’s not the result that matters but what I do to get there. I’ve got a training plan. I planned it as though I was 100% fit and I’m still going to follow it. It’s just going to take longer. I thought the 8 miles the other day was going to take me forever. I looked at my watch afterwards. I was right. It did. 10 miles is going to take longer, and the added challenge on race day of doing it with God knows what obstacles? Well, all I can say is that I’ll know I’ve done my best. Now, negative thoughts be gone!
Today’s training was, I thought, going to be easy on my knees. A simple 5k in my military boots – just to get used to running in them. No extra weight. I might as well have had the weight. My ITB is unforgiving this time round. Just gotta suck it up. I can do that for 10 miles, can’t I? Run 100m, walk 100 … something like that? Still means I can maybe run at least 50% of the course – enough to avoid being swept up by the truck? We’ll see.
No boots, no Bergen. Just a run – 10 miles. Couldn’t wait. Unfortunately, it didn’t go as planned. After 4 miles I was walking and by the end I couldn’t actually ‘run’ more than 3 steps without pain kicking in. I did say I’d keep to the plan even if I had to walk it, though, so I did. Mucho frustrating-oh!
Supposed to be doing intervals today. That’s a joke. Instead of being gut-busting fast/slow intervals they ended up being jog/walk ones. This is no fun. Need another assessment, I think. Should I pull out of this one, take time off and start rebuilding, ready for next year?? What should I do?
Saw the physio today – what a breath of fresh air that was. I went in ready for battle, awaiting all the usual ‘well, if you insist on running stupid distances blah blah blah …’ Instead, I got ‘I’m a great fan of ultra-running’ and a ‘pain does not necessarily mean damage’!! I thought I’d been transported to an alternative universe. I’d been expecting advice to rest, ice, etc. Instead I got … ‘Take a day or two off, then run and see how you do!’ He also told me to stop trying to correct my form – that I should let my body decide how it wants to run!
I’m now scared to go running because I’m expecting a miracle which won’t of course be there!! Mr Physio did think military boots and 35lbs was a little on the extreme (‘cause 100k isn’t??? haha) but suggested I continue training, if conservatively, and resist pulling out until I next see him.