Rollercoaster Week!

Up, Down, Stress, Screaming, Upside Down, Excitement (ok, let’s not push it!), Round in Circles, Relief, End up back at the beginning.

Rollercoasters! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! I’ll jump out of a plane any day, but please don’t ask me to get on a rollercoaster! Ever again! This week has come close to the feeling I get when I see a rollercoaster, although at least on the playground ride I can shut my eyes.  I tried to shut my eyes sometime Wednesday, tripped over the dog, bashed my elbow on the bannister and tumbled down the step. Nope! Closing my eyes wasn’t going to work this time.

(Can I just pause here to say that I have just this minute BLOWN MY CALORIES????)

Now … where was I? Oh yes. Trying to say goodbye to this week and look forward to the next one. In retrospect it wasn’t that bad – or perhaps I’ve already changed my perception and I’m forcing myself to look at the positives and attempting to use the negatives as mini trampolines which I can spring off in the hope of landing on a positive?

Ok, enough with the crap analogies. The crux of it is that my business is currently swirling down the plughole. My youngest son is desperately struggling to keep head above water at school, which worries me constantly and tears at my heartstrings since his perception is that everything’s going ok – and then his heart breaks when he fails all his exams. He doesn’t cope well (Asperger’s). And I could list another truckload of negative stuff but then that would be really depressing. And did I mention that I’ve just blown my calories – again??

On to the positives because I need to land firmly with both feet on a positive. Here goes …

I have an interview for a job at a gym on Tuesday.

I’ve started tracking what I eat again and yesterday was a good day. Today was great up until about half an hour ago, but I’ve typed it ALL into MFP. Do you think MFP will crash if my daily calories go into five-figure numbers?

I’ve reduced my Exercise cals on MFP to something slightly closer to what my hrm told me. Kickboxing for an hour this morning gave me 398 calorie-burn. MFP tells me I should’ve burned 480 in only 45 minutes!! HUGE difference. Am being honest and going with my hrm.

I’ve started running – if extremely tentatively. I’m worried about my right knee – but am building at a pathetically slow rate and am determined to keep it at that pace, even if I have to put off some of my running goals until next year! I WILL return to running. It’s just going to take a little time. Patience, Amanda, Patience!

I AM getting ready for lift-off at 12wbt. My nutrition is back to healthy, I just have to control the chocolate consumption – a few more days like yesterday will do it!

My little lad will be fine. I just have to work out some different ways to help him.

Rebecca thinks ‘Bedlam’ is a really nasty man who was on the Brighton trains this morning, which is why I had to drive S and K to the airport earlier. I never thought she’d fall for it … but she did! Bless her! How can you be grumpy surrounded by such innocence and delight? (note to self: explain about ‘bedlam’ to Rebecca before I forget lol)

Caitriona WILL get selected for NYT this year. She WILL!

Chris WILL get offered a university place.

Rebecca WILL! She just will!

Me too!

I will, too!